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Like cheese on a grill
Still, I crave no pill(ow).
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This potato grew himself. This potato washed himself. This potato peeled and cut himself. This potato boiled himself. This potato seasoned himself then ate himself. He tastes great.
Here is an excerpt from an original story of mine titled ‘The Sofa That Ate Everyone.’
It was a boring Saturday afternoon and I was sitting on the living room floor reading a comic book. The only reason I was sitting on the floor was because my parents had ordered a new sofa a few days earlier and gave away our old sofa. Don’t ask me why. I guess they grew tired of sitting on the same brown sofa every day. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that our dog, Wally, loved to chew on it.
“Hey, Billy! Check out the cool claws that Dad bought me at the mall!” My little brother, Logan, burst through the front door. He was only seven years old but he was smarter than most seven year olds. Oh and yes he was named after a certain comic book hero. I won’t say which one but you can probably guess.
“I kind of wish they were real claws instead of plastic but they’re still pretty cool.” He ran up to me and formed a super hero pose by flexing his scrawny biceps.
“Yeah, those look awesome, Loggy!” I liked calling him Loggy.
“Billy! Would you mind giving us a hand here?”
Mom and Dad were trying to shove the new sofa through the doorway. Mom had insisted on paying extra for delivery but Dad was convinced he knew what he was doing. Just like always.
Two summers ago there was a huge beehive hanging from the oak tree in our backyard and Dad took it upon himself to get rid of it. He armed himself with nothing more than a hockey mask, oven mitts and a rake. Oh and he also had me and Logan standing by with the water hose. He counted to three and then struck the beehive with the rake. It fell to the ground and a swarm of bees quickly followed! Dad then ran towards us shouting, “Turn on the hose! Turn on the hose!”
Unfortunately, we were both in too much shock at the sight of that many bees. We couldn’t believe our eyes! There must have been over a thousand of them! The only thing we could do was stand and watch Dad get stung multiple times by some pretty angry bees. Logan and I never got stung for some reason. Probably because the bees didn’t see us as a threat.
I once saw this show where some guy covered his entire body with millions of bees! He allowed the bees to crawl all over him for a full twenty four hours. A few of them crawled into his ears and nostrils. Afterwards, he said that the bees didn’t sting him because he remained perfectly calm and didn’t panic. The bees had no reason to sting him because they did not see him as a threat. Too bad Dad didn’t see the same show.
He flailed his arms around and swatted at them until he could swat no more. Luckily, I was able to break out of my initial shock induced trance and turn on the water hose full blast. By the time I had soaked Dad from head to toe the bees had finally given up. Mom came home from work early that day and helped him pluck out all the stingers. That was also the day that Dad found out he was allergic to bee stings. His face and arms were swollen for a whole week! He kind of looked like a scarecrow that had been overstuffed with hay.
I still laugh about it sometimes whenever I see a beehive.