Help Me Sell My Original Creations


Hello! I am currently seeking someone to help me sell everything I create. This includes original books, ebooks, artwork and music. Of course, I’ve always made sure to promote my work on all social media outlets but there’s only so much that I can do on my own.

At this point in my life, I have no other means of income. I am 100% focused on every book I write, every song I record and every painting I paint. I see every creative project through to the end.

Whomsoever decides to help me sell/promote my original creations will receive a percentage of all sales. I live in El Paso, TX but it’s not necessary for such a person to live in the same city as me. All that would be required is for said person to have regular access to the internet and a paypal account or some other way of receiving payments.

(If you do happen to live in El Paso, TX then we could definitely have regular face to face meetings.)

So, if you are interested in helping me sell/promote my original creations or know someone who might be interested then please do not hesitate to contact me at
triweeklythrasher@yahoo.com

Here’s where links to my original books and ebooks can be found: www.loera.jigsy.com

Here’s where some of my original music can be found: pythagoras300.bandcamp.com

Here’s where I sell my artwork:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/OrangutanSpin?ref=hdr_shop_menu

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Translator -Short Story by Ryan A. Loera


I’ve tried to hold down a day job! Really I have! I just don’t believe I am meant for the whole nine to five daily grind.
I worked at a bakery for a few weeks until the main baker told me I was kneading the dough too much and not moving fast enough. He fired me and I stole a box of doughnuts.
Then I worked at some car wash place where all the employees have to smile for the duration of their shift. One day, my supervisor caught me not smiling and told me to smile. I told him, “Fuck off! You can’t dictate my mood! This is not Communist Russia!” He fired me and I stole some air fresheners.
After a week or two, I found employment at some fried chicken joint. I had to lie and tell the manager that I had years and years of fry cook experience. On my first day I kept screwing up peoples’ orders ‘cuz the damn grease kept splattering everywhere! Every piece of chicken that I fried was way too over-fried. That damn grease was hot and burned like a son-of-a-bitch!
Then when the manager had me clean out the grease trap I nearly slipped and cracked my head on the floor. He fired me soon after. I then stole a whole bag of honey butter biscuits and gave ‘em to a homeless guy at the bus stop.
I mourned for a few days then got hired as a security guard at some factory that made potato chips. It was a pretty boring job but I got to take home as many bags of irregular potato chips as I wanted. They were stale but still edible.
I quit that job after a week ‘cuz then I received a call from one of my uncles who said he needed a delivery driver for his pizza business. I’m good at eating pizza but not so good at delivering it. I got lost too many times and delivered too many cold pizzas to too many angry customers.
So then my uncle gave me a second chance. He even bought me some GPS device to ensure I wouldn’t get lost. But it turned out to be some cheap knock-off version that kept freezing up! When it wasn’t freezing up it gave directions in Russian. I swear! The automated voice was of some melancholy Russian guy!
“I don’t speak Russian!” I told my uncle.
“Well, you’d better learn because I can’t afford to buy another GPS thing!” He said.
So, instead of quitting, I went to the local library and checked out every book they had on learning the Russian language. I learned a few key phrases and whatnot but I had trouble with remembering the correct pronunciation of each word.
But I figured it didn’t matter much since I only had to understand Russian and not really speak it. After two weeks of intense cramming, I told my uncle I was pretty sure I could now understand most of what the GPS voice said. He said good because he was seriously considering firing me.
“Povernite nalevo.” Spoke the melancholy GPS Russian guy. Which meant ‘Turn left’.
“Povernite napravo, to srazu dlya dvukh mil.” He said. Translated into English it means ‘Turn right then go straight for two miles’.
I arrived at the correct address pretty quickly. It felt good to not get lost for a change.
I walked up to the front door, carrying two large pepperoni pizzas, and pressed the doorbell button. It chimed three times before anybody opened.
A beautiful middle aged woman opened the door. Her two kids screamed and shouted somewhere in the living room.
“Lacey! Tommy! Shut up! I’m on the phone with Grandma!” She clutched her cell phone in one hand.
“Hello there! How much is it again?” She asked while rifling through her wallet.
“That comes to $20 even, mam.” I replied.
“Okay. Here’s $20 and your tip.”
She handed me the money and I handed her the pizzas. Then just as I was about to say thank you and leave she stopped me.
“Oh excuse me! I know this might seem like a weird question but do you happen to speak Russian?” She had a look of desperate hopefulness in her eyes.
For a moment I considered saying no but then I said, “Well, I don’t speak it much but I have studied it.”
“Really? Oh that’s great! My mother-in-law is Russian and she’s on the phone right now. She’s trying to tell me something about the plane ticket she purchased but she speaks very little English and I don’t speak or understand much Russian. My husband is the one who’s fluent in Russian because well that’s where he’s from but he’s still at work right now. So, could you maybe help translate what she’s saying?” She held out her cell phone.
“Sure, I’ll give it a try.”
I grabbed her cell phone and pressed it to my right ear. I introduced myself to her mother-in-law and she introduced herself then proceeded to tell me about her having to purchase a ticket for a later date because there was some blizzard passing through and it wouldn’t be safe to fly for at least another three or four days.
She said all of this in Russian and I actually understood most of what she said. She had a very thick accent and spoke in a frantic manner but I understood her. I relayed what she told me back to her daughter-in-law.
“Oh okay! I’ll be sure to write down that new info. Thank you so very much!” She took back her cell phone, reached into her pants pocket and pulled out a bundle of cash.
“I don’t think I’ve tipped you properly.”
She quickly stuck the bundle into my palm.
“Oh uh that’s not really necessary, mam.”
I stared at the bundle in amazement.
“Oh you must take it! I know what it’s like being a delivery driver. That’s how I put myself through college.” She smiled.
“All right. Thank you very, very much!” I slipped the bundle into the front pocket of my worn-in denim jacket then waved goodbye.
“You’re very welcome uh… Arnold.”
She squinted to read my name tag. She then closed the door and resumed scolding her children.
I didn’t count the bundle until I got back in my car. It was all twenties. It totaled $660 exactly! Very generous.
I still don’t believe I am meant for the whole nine to five daily grind.
But I might have a promising future as a translator.

All words written by Ryan A. Loera
Copyright 2015

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Community


Time takes me away from all the forbidden science of our lackluster generation. Generational gap undone by modern conveniences. Truth here and there and covered up thoroughly by blankets made of the best copper wiring this side of the boundary line. Hilarious I once knew how to write so charismatically without so much as a period or apostrophe, apostrophe. Mind you you mind nothing tangible or legislative and I felt this right away. Earthquakes scare us to the point of non-recognition. But hey I mean whatever puts the gas in your engine now, man. Float then flow.
Water flows through this vortex of a society. It flows to us from the great unknown! I’d like to study the not so culinary arts. Community colleges gloss over much of the fundamentals but then go right back to focusing on nothing but the fundamentals. Ain’t nothin’ fun about that shit!
One thing I do know I want to do is to start a massive community garden.

Sensationalism devours the whole pernicious spring fountain. Plate the ground in silvery things amongst what you believe to be your holiest doctrine. Peoples are factioned off into minor fruitful events of other minor fruitful events. Interesting and fascinating jurisdictions make us believe ugly rhyme vestiges. Every Wednesday and such turmoil discusses us as if we never even cared about property or windowed worries, fricking banality.
Commonality we peruse the last aisle at those gross grocery stores and blame the next shopper for spoiled produce. Life and love and love and life. Those bastards, the ones who own the stores, have no clue. No clue. So we all speak terribly.

Thine world is a vampiress suckling on the teet of corporate idealism! Oh but but they flounder still longingly.
Moment to moment. In particular… I cannot give two shits today. We begin as though we’ve never began before.
I am ambitious and fuck you for saying I am not! You fuckin hater of life and all things limitless! Go on and remain confined in your steel cage by your so called “beliefs” and “ideals”!

All is weary and atrocious. That popsicle my nephew ate looked like it was loaded with untruths and hypocrisy. But oh he swears it tastes good. Of course it tastes good! This is why most of us believe the crap that gets forced onto us by government and corporations! They spend millions and millions to ensure that their lies taste good! I for one am sick of it, sick of it.

Now is as good a time as any for all of us to band together as a community and throw off the shackles of big business and big government! We are not meant to be corporate slaves!
We are meant to be limitless! Beautifully Limitless Creators!

All words written by Ryan A. Loera
Copyright 2015

www.loera.jigsy.com

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Fart Lots -A Short Story by Ryan A. Loera


I fart lots. I mean I really fart lots! Since the day I was born I’ve always been a farter. My parents tell me I farted in the face of the doctor that delivered me!
It’s got nothing to do with my diet either. I do not eat beans of any kind! I despise beans. Sometimes my friends tell me something like, “Hey, Julio! You should cut down on your bean intake!”
Then I tell ‘em, “Man, I don’t eat beans! I don’t eat beans of any kind!” But they just think I’m lying.
The majority of my diet consists of low sodium soups and oatmeal. And yes I’ve tried tons of over the counter remedies to relieve my gas build up. None of them work!
In high school I learned to control it but every so often I just had to let one rip. Naturally, I was not very popular with girls. My first date was with a sweet girl named Lucy. When we went to the movie theater I really really tried to hold in my farts but I just couldn’t for the duration of a full length romantic comedy. We had to cut our date short when the usher asked us to leave.
Then, in college, I met the love of my life. Her name was Sheryl. She was a petite fun loving redhead. We dated for two years before deciding to marry. However, she came from a very traditional family and told me that her father would be greatly offended if I did not ask his permission to marry his only daughter.
So, we visited her family that year for Thanksgiving. After we had all eaten lots of turkey and stuffing I turned towards her father and attempted to ask him… but that’s when I felt that familiar feeling rise up in me. The gas began to build up and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold it in.
I then unleashed the loudest and stinkiest fart I had ever farted!
Her father was immediately disgusted and he even vomited a little on his slice of pumpkin pie. Sheryl was dumbfounded and didn’t speak one word to me from then on. We broke up a few days later.
What else can I say? I’m a farter through and through. Farting is a part of me and I’m a part of it.

All words written by Ryan A. Loera
Copyright 2015

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For Sale Jolly Joy Original Abstract Painting by Ryan A. Loera on Etsy


https://www.etsy.com/listing/230509776/jolly-joy-original-abstract-painting?ref=related_listing

Painted by me. 🙂